Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
