I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
