Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
