I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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