I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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