Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
