I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
