i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize