Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
