brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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