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well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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