Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
