what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You took a bar mat shot.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize