If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just had sex on a roof
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
