I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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