Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
