if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
