I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
