i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
