Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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