Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
