One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
