But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
