You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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