please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
