That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
