Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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