as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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