I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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