I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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