what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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