Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
