I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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