I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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