just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
