Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
