I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
