Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
