I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Less talking, more tequila
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
