i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
