you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
