I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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