i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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