Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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