I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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