Just fell off a train. Bad.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
