I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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