In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
