He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize