So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
