there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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