Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
