i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
