I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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