every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
