so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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