Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
