I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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