Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize