you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
