I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Barsexuality is the new black.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
