Where is the hickey?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
